My Blog

all of the above have more or less the same meaning. ada org percaya benda2 ni, ada org x percaya, ada org 50-50 so terpulanglah kepada invidivu masing2 tersebut. ada org bleh predict future, ada org bleh tau apa akan jadi lepas ni, ada org bleh teka dgn tepat arini hujan ke x. some of them we can ‘know’ thru experience, ada org thru intuition, especially seorang mak boleh agak anak dia sihat ke tgh dlm masalah ke dan sebagainya. have u ever had the sensation, especially when going to a new place, that it feels like u have been there before. new scenery tends to have among the greatest sense of dejavu. rasa mcm penah ku lihat, tapi di mana ya? new faces also adds to this mystery, when u can ’sense’ that u have met this particular person before, but in truth, this is the first u ever met that person. aku rasa semuanya berasal dari dlm mimpi, inside the subconscious mind. apabila kita tidur, sumtimes otak kita separa sedar, especially before we get to the stage of deep sleep. that is when we start to imagining things, or get a hint from sumwhere about the things of the future. tapi orang kata, mimpi adalah mainan syaitan, so x tau ar whether all those ‘visions’ during our sleep can be interpreted as good or bad. dulu2, mmg aku slalu ada sense of dejavu. certain actions, certain places tends to trigger this unexplained event. apa yg kita hadapi at that point of time, memang sebijik dengan apa yg pernah kita lalui satu ketika dahulu (maybe thru our dreams). yang paling ketara ada 2, bila aku sampai ke tempat2 baru, dia punya position of things (pokok, scenery, kereta, matahari etc.), memang macam aku pernah pergi tempat ni. next is when doing certain things, the things im doing, and the end result is exactly as what i had dreamt before. n jumaat mlm sabtu lepas, it struck again. i have been having visions that i will be involved in a car accident while im driving. the car will be coming from sideways, ramming my car at the passenger side, cutting my path, so that means aku x bersalah, sebab jalan tu adalah jalan aku. aku rasa ada dekat sbulan lebih, aku imagine benda ni almost everyday especially when im driving. and how true it was when it happen that fateful nite. tapi kali ni, kete tu langgar from the driver’s side. tempat kejadian, deret maybank uptown lama, betul2 depan restoran dharoos. masa kejadian, kul 1+ pagi. nasib gak dia sempat brek, n aku sempat bunyikan hon n brek at the same time. masing2 bunyi tayar dh memekak dh. haha. yg aku ingat dia pakai kete rexton. aku tgh bwk agak slow gak ar, sebab kiri kanan jalan ada byk kete parking n jalan mmg agak sempit. then bila sampai depan kedai mamak tu, ada 1 jalan utk kete buat u-turn. tiba2 ada ternampak kete besar dh main kluar je. mmg split second decision, aku tekan hon, tekan brek. mula2 driver tu x pandang pun kat arah aku, dia claim dia x nmpk lampu kete aku. aku mmg sempat usha muka dia, masa dia ‘kiss’ kete aku. his front end langgar body depan kat tayar kanan kete aku. so dua2 pun turun ar kete, aku tgk, cat tekopek sket, tapi xde ar kemek ke apa ke. ah beng tu pun turun, umur ada dlm 30’s mintak maaf kat aku. ’sori ar, saya takde nampak u punya lampu kereta, ada rosak ke’? aku mention kat dia, sket je ni, xde hal ar. then dia ckp, setel ke? aku pun malas nk pk panjang, setel je ar. masa dia nk cabut, dia mintak maaf lagi. aku pun x sampai hati nak cakap lebih2, sebab dia mengaku dia salah n dia pun dh mintak maaf n xde ar teruk sgt perlanggaran tersebut. so, kira setel je ar. well, it cud have been worse, so wat the heck. bersyukur je ar. adakah aku ada buat salah apa2 pada mlm kejadian tersebut? kenapa mlm tersebut? adakah sebab x test pakai baju melayu yg luqman tempah, padahal janji nk dtg lepak umah dia mlm tu? adakah kerana bengang dgn ed, kata nak turun saji kul 1030, tapi last2 jumpa kat sri chai kul 1215. adakah kerana dgn memakan roti john kat sri chai sehingga mengantuk n x pergi bermain snuker dgn budak2, sehingga mengecewakan mereka sehingga mereka bengang kat aku puncanya? entahlah. evryting happen for a reason. then after that it hits me, betul ar apa aku imagine selama ni. eksiden side impact. cuma beza nya, kena langgar dekat driver’s side. so mmg ada kene sket ar dgn apa yg aku mimpikan slama ini. not 100% accurate, tapi betul gak ar. so how? korang percaya ke x dejavu apa suma ni? pasni, aku mintak dijauhkan ar dari pikir benda2 x elok. amin… -tell me the reality is better than the dream, but i found the hard way, nothing is wat it seems-

amacam? dah kenyang makan limau? aku x sentuh langsung sbijik pun limau, walaupun ‘bersepah-sepah’ kat umah, kat ofis. entah, sebab aku mmg x brapa suka kat limau ke oren ke. fresh oren je kot badan aku bleh terima. anyway, nak wish Slamat Tahun Baru Cina kat suma org cina, padahal aku bukan ada ramai pun kawan cina. member muka chinese look tapi x reti cakap cina, ‘banana’ ada ar.

benda pertama aku prasan tentang CNY ni adalah, jalan kat area PJ/KL ni x jem langsung. kul brapa pun, x kisah. pagi ke tengahari ke petang ke malam ke, sama je. jalan lengang semacam. kalau tiap2 hari mcm ni, mmg stres level rakyat mesia berkurangan 50%. asal lah, cuti 4 hari je ofis aku. tapi ada hikmah gak cuti skejap je, sebab dh x tau apa nk wat kat umah. layan dvd je ar. time cuti camni ar, tv mula tunjuk cite macam2. spiderman 2 ar, teminator 3 ar, kungfu hustle, fearless, tapi sayang, suma dh penah tgk, so nk tgk blk kat tv, rasa malas je.

on average, layan sampai 2 dvd sehari. borat, stormbreaker, blood diamond, babel, chronicles of ridick, united 93. then ahad mlm layan gos rider kat cineleisure. hampeh tul, mostly cite aku layan, x brapa best except for united 93. mmg touching weh. cite camana, penumpang flait United Airlines 93 berjaya ‘menggagalkan’ usaha pengganas at the cost of their own lives. well, kalo ko dah tau nak mati, better mati yg berbaloi ar kot. fight to the end. alang2 menyeluk pekasam, biar sampai ke pangkal lengan. we may never know wat actually happen on board, or whether the terrorist were ‘real’, but the only truth is that, Islam’s image has taken a battering by the international community.

yg lain2 cite mcm apa tah. borat, cite bodoh gile. stormbreaker cite kanak2 berangan nak jadi james bond. blood diamond, ganas semacam la pulak, budak2 dah diajar membunuh pakai AK. babel, slow nak mampus jalan cite dia, by the end, ko nye otak pun dh malas nak pk blk, apa yg jadi at the start of the movie. nak flashback pun dh malas. chronicles of ridick, aku layan pun sebab baru last month layan game dia. walaupun made in 2004, tapi game dia masyuk gile. mmg macho gile ar ridick.

tapi paling mengecewakan aku rasa, gos rider, tupun sebab tgk wayang kot. kalo takat pinjam dvd kawan2, xde ar kecewa sgt. gos rider ni kategori superhero yg ganas sepatutnya. aku pun x brapa ingat jalan cite komik dia, tapi abang aku ada ar beli komik dia zaman2 early 90’s dulu. well i went there, not expecting a good storyline, but at least bagi ar fight scene dia ‘panjang’ sket. ni 2-3 minit gaduh, dh menang. lawan super villain dia pun, brapa minit je dh kawtim. haha. apa tah. tapi setahu aku blackheart ada byk lagi kuasa2 dia yg dia x tonjolkan dlm movie.

lagi ada trailer utk spiderman 3, lawan sandman; fantastic four, lawan silver surfer; transformers, autobots lawan decepticon je ar kot. tapi yg paling xleh handle, iklan digi tu. memang kene ar dgn budaya rakyat mesia. aku rasa, dlm wayang je kot, kuar iklan tu, sebab mmg iklan specifically utk wayang je. ‘gua taikor’. hahahahaa…

so 4 hari cuti, melepak je ar. rabu dh kena keje blk. MU pun dah stat dia punya european adventure again. bermula lah episod tdo kul 5 pasni. yg paling x best cuti ni, game pc xde. usha dgmall, kedai jual game dvd suma dh tutup. mcm ada operasi pun bleh jadi gak. x sabar nak main Supreme Commander ni. spiritual successor to Total Annihilation, game yg aku layan masa skolah menengah dulu. tangan pun gatal nak upgrade pc kepada core 2 duo, ~1.5k dh bleh dapat c2d e4300, mobo 965, ram ddr2 1 gig, 7600gt, dgn casing + psu suma. tapi leklu ar, selagi pc ni bleh main latest games, rasa mcm buang duit lak upgrade. tunggu vista fully operational baru best kot upgrade.

so in the end, how i wish evry week is CNY. x tau ar dpt angpow brapa byk bila naik keje ni. kalo ada, ok lah, xde pun x mati nye. dan yg x brapa best nye, CNY ni, kedai byk tutup. steven uptown or as a matter of fact, suma western food kat uptown tutup. so kena tungu ar next wiken utk merasa blk kenikmatan makan di uptown ni.

-i watched u change into a fly, i look away u r fine, i watched a change in u, its like u never had wings, now u feel so alive, i took u home, set u on the glass, i pull off ur wings, then i lie-

once upon a time, there lived jack & jill in a land far, far away. the story goes that, jack first got to know jill during their study days. they were not exactly close during that time, due to a number of reasons. its not that jack didnt notice jill at that point of time, but maybe jack was pre-occupied with his studies or maybe jack was smitten with some other girl. jill was also with someone else. so their meeting was rather limited.

well, thats all in the past now. fate has brought both of them together. its funny how fate plays a part in it. when it seems that all of jack’s hope is lost, comes along jill in the picture. then jack’s life begins to pick up again. jack has found a new purpose in life, new meaning to each day. jack cant really describe when he begins to have feelings for jill, but does it matter anyway? it could be due to jill’s sincerity, for being there during jack’s time of loneliness. to fill the empty space which have long being left void.

maybe words cant describe how jack is falling head over heels over jill. is there anything to describe and measure something which is subjective, such as friendship and/or love? theres a malay proverb which goes, "tak kenal maka tak cinta". maybe before this jack didnt know who jill really was, but after awhile, jack can definitely ’see’ for what jill is worth. and like ronan keating’s famous lyric which goes, ‘You said it best, when you say nothing at all’. its more than words can describe.

or maybe jack doesnt really know how or what he feels for jill at the moment. maybe jack is as confused as jill. but is it wrong? to like jill for no specific reason? to take care of jill more than what friends are meant to be? theres a big question mark there on jack’s real intention in all this, and frankly speaking, jack doesnt know how to explain it. could it be real, or just a feeling that will pass on with time?

it may seem as too sudden since jack just got to know jill again after a lapse of a few years. even jill was taken by surprise after jack pour his feelings to her. jill thought it was just some kind of a prank. jack cant blame jill for it. after all, how can jack taken a liking for jill, when they have never even share a proper conversation face to face?

we dont know what the future holds for us. thats why our gift to each other is the ‘present’. we only have the present. we only have now and today. but all jack can promise to jill is to take care of jill while he’s still alive. to share the ups and downs with jill. but until to what extent, who knows. up until the pedestal of marriage? until they have their own children and grandchildren? in footballing terms; ‘on loan with a view of a permanent move with a fee’.

changes have to be made, and sacrifices too. the issue of distance is a challenge. provided theres a give n take between them, a win-win situation can be drawn out with proper planning. the issue of having enough money to actually make things work is being finalised. all jack asks is for 2 years.

so in the end, the choices we make today will have an impact on the life we lead tomorrow. jack’s mind is made up for the short-term. wonder how jill will react to all of this…

-why, it’s ok, to fall in love again? it’s all we have to live, whenever i’m unseen, i blame it on myself-